LIT: On Dealing With Rejection In Writing
I recently had some poems accepted into a major literary publication. This journal is one I’ve wanted to be published in ever since I was a college student. Ever since I discovered the journal, really. And yes, I scoffed at it. It seemed very high brow and a bit stuffy, but every so often I’d see a poem I really admired and think to myself, why not?
Why not? It’s a natural enough question. People ask it all the time. What I want to know is why do I ask it, and others don’t? What makes me different? Is that I’m used to the rejection? Is that I really have that much self-confidence? I don’t think so. I think I just feel that if I’ll never know unless I try.
What has surprised me, is not the fact that my friends are happy for me, and know how hard I work at my writing, but that friends, and I’m talking especially about female friends, here, have expressed utter shock or utter awe at this accomplishment I’ve achieved.
Here are some of the comments I’ve recently heard.
1. Oh, I never even thought of sending them poems. The thought has never crossed my mind.
2. You were so brave to submit poems to that journal.
3. I’d never dream of sending poems there.
3. Oh, I couldn’t handle the rejection.
4. What’s the point?
Yes, I’m brave and yes, I’ve built up a tough skin over the years, but still, afraid of rejection? from what, an email? Come on. Just delete it and move on. I sneer at rejection.
Lately, it’s come to my attention that people are impressed that I’m a single woman with a first book, who’s a full-time teacher, and who has a second book on the horizon. So what?
Why are people so impressed?
I learned a long time ago, nothing in life is easy, and sometimes the unexpected happens. You have to embrace it and move on. If you want something, you have to go and get it because no one is going to do it for you.
If you have a collection of poetry, just sitting away on your hard drive, it isn’t going to magically surface on an editor’s desk. Send it out!! It takes work. It takes organization; it takes some elbow grease, and of course it takes determination.
You need to keep track of your submissions. You need to read a lot of poetry to see what presses you think would work best for your work and you need to spend time submitting.
I’ve also been thinking a lot about VIDA’S “ THE COUNT.” (If you aren’t familiar with it, check it out.) It’s a “count” of what percentage of women and men are published in a given journal or magazine. It’s fascinating to see where the numbers lie, but its also irritating.
It makes me wonder if the editors of these sources don’t publish a lot of women because women aren’t submitting to their journals, or if they just aren’t conscious of who they are submitting and what gender they are representing in their journals.
I recently read on VIDA that it is men who send their work out to journals as soon as they receive word that a submission has been rejected – sometimes even the same journal ! Why aren’t women doing this? What are they afraid of?
Guess what? I do this. TAKE THAT, REJECTION !!
Anyone who’s ever been unemployed, and I was for a few months back in 2004 when I left Harper Collins after only three months of working there, knows that finding a job is a full-time job. Well guess what, getting poems out accepted into journals is also a full-time job.
Make the time and do it!
When I was a little girl, my father used to always say, “Leah, you can’t win it unless you’re in it.” Sure, the advice was about the lottery, something I don’t play, but it is sage advice nonetheless. You can’t expect to win unless you’re in the running. And you can’t expect a journal to publish your work, or even give it a chance if you aren’t submitting your work there.
So, I’m still left thinking about what makes me different from the average woman. Maybe it’s that I’m hopeful, or maybe it’s that I take risks. Jeanette Winterson says, in one of my favorite novels, The Passion:
“What you risk reveals what you value.”
She was talking about love. I’m talking about love, too. The love I feel towards my writing.
I want to say to all of you female poets out there
It only takes one set of eyes to read your work, on any given day, and sit back and say yes, I want this poet in my magazine.
Be that poet. Be that woman!
Leah’s first collection of poems, Domestic Uncertainties is out from BlazeVOX Books. She is also the host & curator of the COUPLET Reading Series in NYC. She has been a contributing writer for BOMB Magazine’s BOMBLOG and Tin House, a poetry reviewer for The Rumpus, and a live twit for The Best American Poetry Blog. Her poems have appeared or are forthcoming in such places as: POETRY, Thrush Poetry Journal, Barrow Street, Catch-up, and The Brooklyn Rail. Read more at http://iammyownheroine.com and on Twitter: @Lady_Bronte